Tag Archives: TMS

TMS and reformatting.

Last Wednesday was supposed to be my last trans cranial magnetic stimulation treatment, but I ended up relapsing and going into a depressive episode again a few days before. That sucked. I was very much looking forward to being done with traveling two hours back and forth to MUSC in Charleston.

Between treatments and work, I’ve been busy and exhausted, which explains my lack of writing and blogging. I’ve neglected my new project/book severely, as well as trying to promote The Thirteenth Step. I am in the process of reformatting The Thirteenth Step to a 5×8 instead of the 6×9. With the larger size, the spine is too thin for words on it, per CreateSpace. So hopefully it will allow words on the spine now. My sister is resizing the cover for me, which is very generous of her. The cover she made is superb and I love it. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

So I’ve resumed work on my new book, currently untitled. I’m just now at 25%. My goal is 100,000 words, which should put it over 200 pages. I am at 31,000 words, so I should hit my goal. I’m definitely taking my sweet time with this one. As much as I adore The Thirteenth Step, it was rushed. I was so eager to finally write a book, but looking back I see so much more I could have done with the plot. So many more scenes I could have added. But, I will love it as it is. It will always be my baby.

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Posted by on June 4, 2014 in text


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TMS treatment #6

Today was not too bad. I must be getting used to the woodpecker feeling on my head as I could have fallen asleep in the chair. I noticed this weekend a little improvement already in my mood. The nurse who was administering my treatment today asked how I was feeling, and I told her a felt a little relieved. She looked mildly surprised and said she had never heard anyone describe it that way.

To clarify, I am beginning to feel relief from the on and off hopelessness, the poor self esteem, and the despair, to name a few. It was irritating to be up and down all day long, going from sort of okay to totally depressed.

But this weekend I noticed a little change. I noticed that I didn’t feel so hopeless. I felt a little lighter. I felt more than my usual so-so. This is what brought me to describe it as relief. I actually smiled without someone trying to make me laugh. Maybe people will stop telling me to smile because I will be smiling on my own accord. I feel this development on my mood is promising for the TMS.

I also wrote a nice four page letter to my insurance company asking why they considered TMS as “investigational” when I have a list of other states that cover it. I sent them this list along with my letter. I did find a document from 2011 explaining why they decided to to cover it. It listed five reasons. I disputed each reason in my letter. I am not backing down on this one. I’ll write as many letters and make as many phone calls as it takes to get the insurance company to cover TMS.

Watch out, insurance company.

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Posted by on April 24, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation

Today I had my third treatment of rTMS, or repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. I am hopeful that this treatment will be effective for me. The doctors at MUSC tell me they have had a lot of success with it. To put it in simple terms, they put a giant magnet on my head that stimulates the neurons in the brain. The strength of the pulse and length of treatment is dependent on motor threshold. The higher the threshold, the stronger the pulse and the longer the treatment is. I have the second highest motor threshold they have seen, with a 1.55. As of now, my treatments are running around 50 minutes long.

To tell you what it’s like, it feels like a giant woodpecker on my head, tapping away at my skull for 4-5 seconds straight with 25 second intervals in between. It makes my left eyebrow quiver, as well as the left side of my jaw (pretty much the entire left side of my face). It’s not as painful as it actually sounds. After a while, you kind of get used to it. I get to use ear buds and listen to my music or an audiobook (I’m currently working on Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre).

I have to go Monday through Friday for four to six weeks, depending on how well I respond to the treatment.

I hope to track my progress regularly. On a scale from 1 – 10, with ten feeling like total misery, I have been about an 8 today. Yesterday and Monday were a 5.

My sister’s imagery of TMS is great: she pictures me with kitchen magnets all over my head.

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Posted by on April 23, 2014 in text


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